How did this crab get in our house?

For the purpose of treating the crab we found like any other decent crab to have stumbled into our home, we have decided to refer to him/her as Nutmeg. 

Facts:

1. We are on the island of Phu Quoc and our place is about 3km's from the nearest body of water.
2. Our house is surrounded by a 1.5m high concrete wall.
3. The doors were open because we were hot from the day-long power outage.
4. Andy looks super hot and super cool without a shirt.
5. Andy's shorts were purchased at the Cambodian duty-free. Children's size XL.
6. Crab's prefer to walk sideways and seem to be quite slow at it.
7. There is a 10cm high ledge at the entrance of the house. The ledge is ceramic tiled, meaning it is slippery!

Hypotheses:

1. Nutmeg was a victim of domestic violence and needed to find a safe haven.
2. Nutmeg heard we were having spaghetti and decided to join us for lunch.
3. The neighbors were asking: "Hon-ey, con cua o dau?" Which very loosely translates to: "Kim, where the hell did the crab lunch go?"

We didn't quite know what to do with Nutmeg at that frantic moment so we took the time to grab our camera and video tape how things unfolded.

Looking back, we sincerely regret the actions we committed that day. We were panicking and neither of us had any previous experience with such a situation.

Here is our advice for anybody who should find themselves in this predicament. (Note: For household encounters only. Should you find crabs in your pants, please visit your local health clinic.)

1. Fill a bucket with water and sprinkle a tablespoon of sea salt.
2. Gently place the crab in the water.
3. Transport to nearest beach and release.

Please don't judge us.

Signed,

Shellfish enthusiasts

Welcome to the Mekong Trailer Park

As individuals, we are both familiar with trailer parks having both been raised in them. But before we continue we would like to remind everyone that despite what some people around town are saying, we are not that trashy. In our combined lifetimes, we've seen all the in's and out's of a typical park. We thought we've seen it all... until... we got the rare experience of visiting the most spectacular trailer park we've ever seen.   Each of these engineering marvels are comprised of empty metal barrels that are equivalent to tires in at least two other countries in the world. Each of these mobile homes come equipped with state-of-the-art holes in the floor which allow for the release of excrement. As well these toilets are high efficiency flow, which would arouse David Suzuki. When questioning city councilors regarding the colour of the river, we were turned away by these military men. Getting around the park:  Not as simple as driving your John Deere lawn mower around. Depending on the flow of the current, the corner store may no longer be on that same corner that you remember. The park is very kid friendly. Check out the neighbourhood playground. For you HGTV lovers, don't fret. There is electricity from 9am-2pm for you to get the latest scoop on hot fabrics to match your carpets with your drapes, and new landscaping ideas. One thing we found in common with the parks we're used to, is that animals are always welcome.   Question: Why did the chicken cross the river? The local petting farm for those school field trips. In-ground fish pond. Dogs. We're glad that you could share this experience with us. Until next time! Signed, High Efficiency Toilet Installer and Floating House Contractor